After
The Fairy Is Bored with Her Garden by Caroline Bird
‘The
Hobbit’ never has a lot to say
about
the sex lives of its denizens –
no
word on how they spend a sweaty day
entwined
amongst some elvish courtesans.
The
same is true of much of fantasy,
we
rarely learn about what happens next
when
pixies, sprites and goblins meet in threes –
those
little ins and outs of fictive sex.
So
I intend to write a catholic tome
on
how imaginary creatures fornicate –
of
what goes on behind closed doors at home,
the
ways they tempt and charm and masturbate.
A
comprehensive guide that’s packed chock full
with
tips on fucking for the fictional.
RJT
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