The Loch Ness Monster
If I had twenty pence for every day
the locals swore that I did not exist,
then maybe I would have the funds to pay
for fuzzy clones of me from “Monster Gifts”.
My daily affirmation: “I am real”
is met with whispered scorn and bitter snubs.
The sceptics shun me with religious zeal.
They’ve also barred me from the local pubs.
They’ll gladly use my face to sell their tat,
but won’t acknowledge my autonomy.
I’ve weighed my legal options and all that -
But mythic beasts aren’t covered by IP.
I'm sueing “Monster Gifts” for copyright;
they cannot use my face without a fight!