The fucking water's fucking thick and brown,
it's filled with every fucking kind of shit
from fucking here to fucking Grimly Down ‒
fuck knows what those mad fuckers dump in it.
And fucking tourists haven't got a clue ‒
can't tell a fucking dinghy from a punt,
think tacking is what fucking hammers do ‒
those fucking useless bunch of fucking cunts.
I'm fucking getting sick and fucking tired
of life aboard this poxy fucking boat ‒
the fucking engine's fucking near expired
and soon the fucking fuck won't even float ‒
this fucking river lark's a fucking farce,
so fuck you all ‒ and kiss my fucking arse.