#24 - Fucking for the Fictional

After The Fairy Is Bored with Her Garden by Caroline Bird

‘The Hobbit’ never has a lot to say

about the sex lives of its denizens –

no word on how they spend a sweaty day

entwined amongst some elvish courtesans.

The same is true of much of fantasy,

we rarely learn about what happens next

when pixies, sprites and goblins meet in threes –

those little ins and outs of fictive sex.

So I intend to write a catholic tome

on how imaginary creatures fornicate –

of what goes on behind closed doors at home,

the ways they tempt and charm and masturbate.

A comprehensive guide that’s packed chock full

with tips on fucking for the fictional.

RJT

#14 - Ampersand

After 'Megan Married Herself' by Caroline Bird

Arriving in a silver limousine,
a woman, dressed in lace, is getting wed.
No other half stands present on the scene
coz Megan’s match is to herself instead.

She’s nervous, but the passion’s plain to see
as she repeats her vows first once then twice;
and afterwards the tearful guests agree
the service – though unique – was rather nice.

An Usher sighs and thinks about his wife,
while questioning the way it could have been:
would he have lived a very different life
if he’d said yes to himself, aged nineteen?

The bride’s names etched into the wedding band;
 twice-written with a curly ampersand.

LM

Source