#5 - Monstrous

 

Surround yourself with hearts of love and glee,

don't squander precious time on those that frown,

or those that make a crappy cup of tea.

That's pretty simple, right? A basic plea.

I feel I shouldn't have to write this down:

“Surround yourself with hearts of love and glee”

should be a thing you learnt on mother's knee

before you reach the lessons more profound;

and “Don't accept a crappy cup of tea”?

that should be simpler still, it seems to me –

as English as a quiet market town

where English folk (devoid of love and glee)

read Rupert Brooke and sunbathe by the sea,

and fly their flags at every passing crown,

fill empty souls with endless cups of tea.

Oh gods – now I’m conflicted. Could I be

condemned to live among these clowns,

forever seeking hearts of love and glee,

surrounded by their crappy cups of tea? AWB

#12 - Earl Grey (Not the Tea!)

Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey (1764 – 1845) - politician

I’ve never been the kind of man to brag 

but my career was something to applaud!

I led the House of Commons and the Lords

(at separate times) and if that’s not your bag, 

I changed the way that parliament’s elected 

and helped abolish slavery as well;

in all my years in office I perfected

an oratory style unparalleled. 

Despite these feats, I fear my legacy

has been reduced to such bromidic fluff:

I’m just the bloke whose name is on the tea 

despite the fact I loathe the bloody stuff! 

But can one litigate when one’s a ghost?

I’ll send Twinings my grievance in the post. 

LM

Grey circa 1820