Now, everyone has one friend who they hate
whose spiteful humour fills his mates with dread,
who tries his best to make his pals see red,
who needles, snarks, and all round irritates.
“Don’t lose your head! Oh no, you did! Too late!”
You wish you’d picked another school instead.
There’s part of you that wishes he’d drop dead
but he won’t quit, so everything stagnates.
You haven’t seen this guy for twenty years
and suddenly, he’s with you at the bar.
He asks you if your ‘armpits hide your ears’
Now, after all these years, he’s gone too far
He’s sleazy and he doesn’t pay for drinks:
“Just fuck off, Greg! No one cares what you think.”
|Source: Schedel's Nuremberg Chronicle (1493) plus Photoshop|