06 February 2012

The Chameleon

If you asked me about the best reptile
the Chameleon's the coolest by far.
His tongue is long, thin and projectile,
he can lick the crevasses of a jam jar.
He sees his prey (which is chiefly insectile)
with swivelling eyes that look somewhat bizarre.
His tail is almost fully prehensile,
he can hear well without needing sonar.
He sways as he walks like a drunk man
and uses colour to signal his mood,
just beware if he turns a bright cyan,
it means he's being terribly rude.
The chameleon is the best lizard you'll meet;
struggles to buy shoes with zygodactylous feet.


'Shit! Where will I buy my Chelsea Boots now?'


  1. This is possibly the first use of 'zygodactylous' in all of English poetry.

    Meh - maybe Milton =)

    1. Five syllable words are a bitch for the metre! Luckily, I don't give a shit about metre, as I'm sure we're all aware! :D

  2. Wash your mouth out with soap, young lady!!