Your choice of wine, it shows such splendid taste.
And what’s my job? I help to solve the crimes
You fear alone at night, expose the grime
That lurks behind the innocent and chaste,
Bring shame to those who ought to be disgraced;
A voice against this nation’s sad decline.
Perhaps you’d like another glass of wine?
Don’t look at me with such a scornful face,
So what if I have hacked a phone or two
Or gave the bumbling cops a cheeky bribe?
It’s rather crude to take a moral stand,
You’re much too pretty for that point of view,
You see, I’m simply freedom’s humble scribe,
Now close your eyes and…