Now I don’t have to waste my time with dates
I’ve started doing sit-ups, lifting weights,
Wearing a sweat-soaked vest; a fitness spree
Of jogging to work, drinking herbal tea,
No longer listing all my old mistakes
I’m now a man who works out and creates
The body of a Spartan devotee.
If once again there is a time we meet
I hope you’re awed and dearly wish you could
Undo, unsay and not make me your ex.
You might go home and post a wistful tweet
And think your boyfriend’s really not that good
As by a mirror I sob and flex.